tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61094212010-04-27T04:08:54.708-04:00Poker Grubgrubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comBlogger509125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-33951874579364748782010-04-27T04:08:00.001-04:002010-04-27T04:08:54.888-04:00This blog has moved<br /> This blog is now located at http://pokergrub.blogspot.com/.<br /> You will be automatically redirected in 30 seconds, or you may click <a href='http://pokergrub.blogspot.com/'>here</a>.<br /><br /> For feed subscribers, please update your feed subscriptions to<br /> http://pokergrub.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default.<br /> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-3395187457936474878?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-33877433011436022352010-04-18T18:19:00.003-04:002010-04-18T19:42:44.917-04:00Brush with Rush PokerMy first Rush Poker tournament at Full Tilt (just introduced this weekend), you'd think they would've rigged it in my favor.<br /><br />All-in preflop, I could feel that 3 coming on the river.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://img224.imageshack.us/img224/2109/rushpoker.jpg"></center><br /><br />I led the tournament early, getting and maintaining chip lead while trying to bust out because some friends were drunk at the Cubs game and wanted to go to the boats.<br /><br />Called an all-in with JT vs. TT and flopped a J. Got lucky with pairs beating smaller pairs. Big Aces to small Aces.<br /><br />Then I get the cursed Aces for the first time and bust out, about 100 players to go from a field of 2200.<br /><br />Since last year, for nihilistic purposes, I've kept an Excel file of hands I either am ahead or behind by 60/40 and the results.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://img220.imageshack.us/img220/1023/tiltbeats.jpg"></center><br /><br />I believe in big tournaments you need to get lucky once every 500 players.<br /><br />This tournament, I won one and lost one.<br /><br />If only...<br /><br />As for Rush Poker itself, it's the best thing to come along since online poker.<br /><br />I say that even though since January, I'm down over $5000 playing it, mostly losing to players set mining and my never believing them.<br /><br />If I could self-exclude myself from cash games, I'd do it.<br /><br />And by the way, sizzlinbettas, the guy who sucked out with the 3s, ended up winning the thing for $10,468.01.<br /><br />sizzlinbettas, you owe me a drink!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-3387743301143602235?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-2412480485686650102010-04-03T11:28:00.004-04:002010-04-03T12:25:44.128-04:00Cyrano de grubby, or sexting a CougarThe weekend before St. Patrick's Day, I had dinner with some friends at Shaw's Crab House. It was a fun drunken night of Maryland blue crab, sushi, oysters, and much Grey Goose with a splash of cranberry. One friend offered $1000 to the server if she could guess his name in 10 tries. She couldn't.<br /><br />Before I arrived, another friend had picked up the number of a Cougar named Cee Cee. With her was her older sister Dee Dee, who kept trying to push off Cee Cee to any guy.<br /><br />He wasn't interested, but he got the number mostly to close the conversation.<br /><br />She didn't have his, however, so I was able to use hers in my phone and pretend I was him.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://img521.imageshack.us/img521/7051/cc1m.png"></center><br /><br />In between the restaurant and the dance bar, I called her half a dozen times but kept getting a message that her voice mail was full.<br /><br />I thought my last text was it, but she responded in the morning which led to this conversation:<br /><br /><center><img src="http://img408.imageshack.us/img408/2940/cc2.png"></center><br /><br /><center><img src="http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/4100/cc3z.png"></center><br /><br /><center><img src="http://img694.imageshack.us/img694/1958/cc4.png"></center><br /><br /><center><img src="http://img709.imageshack.us/img709/933/cc5.png"></center><br /><br />I didn't respond to the last one, figuring at some point it had to go somewhere.<br /><br />Meanwhile I was texting the friend who got Cee Cee's number and said I could seemingly arrange to get them to stop by his place. He said that I should give them my address and see if they notice a difference.<br /><br />A couple days later he said that he played poker and lost with AA. I said he wouldn't have lost with CC or DD.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-241248048568665010?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-76519990732337737122010-03-14T21:07:00.002-04:002010-03-16T08:23:00.267-04:00Daytripping strip clubs"Are you wet?"<br /><br />The last time I went to Olympic Gardens in Las Vegas, a friend and I stayed through Sunday night all the way to 6 a.m. Monday morning.<br /><br />We were chatting up the one dancer who remained, until the DJ called her name to go on stage. She had to follow course, and went to the stage.<br /><br />With no one else in the club, we had nothing else to do but follow. <br /><br />Fortunately, she was attractive.<br /><br />I don't remember much else about that visit, but we did sneak a couple more dances out of her once we requested she change into a red substitute teacher outfit. Changing took a good half hour, which either meant she was at the stripper thrift store or she was snorting some lines to prep dealing with a couple losers who wouldn't leave a strip club on a Monday morning.<br /><br />Monday during the day isn't the best of times to patronize gentlemen's clubs, but if you're looking for complete attention, your pick of seats, and free entry, Monday's your day. Never mind what the dancers actually look like, be thankful that it's still extra dark inside during daytime.<br /><br />Another reason to go on Monday: your flight is a few hours away, you're dealing with a hangover, and you're out of money.<br /><br />A couple weeks ago, I was at Cheetah's with another friend.<br /><br />I drove my rental, and I was prepared to smooth talk the bouncer into giving us free admission (I no longer have my Nevada driver's license, aka free pass to strip clubs), but there was no bouncer and not even a cashier or front attendant.<br /><br />We walked right into the darkness and were immediately greeted by some good breath-challenged girls of maybe the 3-4 variety (on a scale of 100).<br /><br />But we had time to kill and gambling money to spend. Well, the former. I had to borrow from my friend.<br /><br />He went immediately to the back room, precious seconds ticking away.<br /><br />I stuck around front, drinking Grey Goose & vodka (still $12 despite Monday morning), and taking in 2-for-1 dances.<br /><br />$10 a dance goes a long way in a strip club, while also de-valuing the back room.<br /><br />A couple days earlier, we had gone to Spearmint Rhino and arriving at 3 a.m. Sunday morning in the middle of an economic downturn wasn't enough to scare the crowds. It was more packed than I'd ever seen it, and there was a line to get into the back room. I'd never had such a shakedown before, but desperate to sit down I had no choice but to visit the back room a couple times, which cost $600 on just two girls and drinks ($50 admission seemingly on the busy night, with 2 drink coupons... which is only good for 1 drink in the back room).<br /><br />Also at Cheetah's was the stripper buffet. I consider myself a connossieur of all-you-can-eat buffets, but you won't find me partaking in pizza and sushi sitting under lights.<br /><br />I was in the middle of dance #4 with an Asian girl whose face was in her 40s but resculpted breasts were pre-adolescent. Another good thing about strip hopping during the day is they'll sometimes work extra hard, which she did with her free-roaming hands.<br /><br />"Are you wet?" she asked me.<br /><br />"No... are you?"<br /><br />She answered silently by directing my hand down there.<br /><br />My friend popped out for a second to borrow my car keys, then came back in and dropped them off.<br /><br />Ever since a <a href="http://www.pokergrub.com/2008/07/stripper-stole-my-car-keys.html">stripper stole my car keys</a> (also at Cheetah's), I'm extra vigilant about where my keys are.<br /><br />He then disappeared into the back room again.<br /><br />I had 2.25 dances with a girl from Skokie, Illinois, whose tits were hanging so low she seemed like she had just breast-fed half a dozen puppies. Launching into the 0.25th song, I asked, "Is this song number 2?"<br /><br />She said no, that we were already into the third.<br /><br />Bad stripper etiquette: always ask your customer if he wants another dance. The last time this happened, the girl felt so bad when I called her on it that she gave me two for free.<br /><br />Songs are about 50 percent longer during the days (another plus), and my internal stripper clock was confused. I usually know what song we're on but will sometimes ask in case they've lost track themselves. I was once on dance #19 and she thought it was #17. Score.<br /><br />This time, however, I asked if it was song number 2 because there was no way I was getting another dance. Even if I paid for part of the third.<br /><br />I kicked the Skokie girl off me mid-dance and tossed her $30. Her last job was at The Library and some all-nude club near the Palamino that went "all-Mexican." Not the sterlingmost resume.<br /><br />I had never had such a lackluster dance. Little did I know what was coming 2 minutes later.<br /><br />"Do you want a shot?" a short fireplug of a shot girl said.<br /><br />"No thanks," I said.<br /><br />"Do you want to buy me a shot?"<br /><br />"No thanks."<br /><br />"How about a dance?"<br /><br />There aren't many taboos left in a strip club. But getting a dance from the cocktail waitress or shot girl is high on that bucket list. It's next to having sex with your hot substitute teacher (hence the above OG fantasy).<br /><br />I accepted and it felt like getting a dance from an Oompa Loompa. Worse, I felt like a pedophile, only without the apparent enjoyment.<br /><br />I pushed her off after the second song and grabbed my phone and...<br /><br />Where were my keys?<br /><br />They were just there, in the chair next to me, next to the phone. My friend had returned them to me, and I made sure to keep them close.<br /><br />Where the fuck were my keys?<br /><br />The shot girl was still putting on her bikini top that pretty much held nothing.<br /><br />I blew up, accusing her of taking them.<br /><br />The cocktail waitress helpfully came over with a flashlight, and with the bouncer, we tore up the whole area.<br /><br />I couldn't fucking believe this was happening again. Was Cheetah's strippers' M.O. to take car keys? Maybe display it over their fireplace as a trophy? Is stealing keys the new empowerment?<br /><br />My mind shot back to 2 years ago, when I had deja vu speaking to the same bouncer about checking the video camera. My fingernails dug into seat cushions, pulling up stuff that will probably later be in a CSI investigation.<br /><br />My flight was in 2 hours. I made a mental list. Call the locksmith, get a new key, tip $100. A repeat of the first time.<br /><br />At my wit's end, I accepted that this happened again and sunk into the chair.<br /><br />I texted my friend: "Do you have my car keys?"<br /><br />To his credit, he responded pretty fast: "Yes."<br /><br />Now I went into transference mode, moving anger at Cheetah's to anger at my friend.<br /><br />I apologized to the shot girl I yelled at (but still didn't accept a shot from her or for her).<br /><br />Why did he take them a second time? A practical joke, I could understand.<br /><br />When he returned, I went off again, saying that I'd just told him the story of the stripper stealing my keys, and that he should've made sure I knew he was taking them.<br /><br />He said he didn't want to bother me.<br /><br />All it would've taken was making eye contact and showing my keys to me. Besides, I was just looking for an excuse to break away from the shot girl.<br /><br />And why did he go to the car a second time anyway?<br /><br />On the way out, he told me.<br /><br />While in the back room, his girl kept rubbing his crotch with her knee and, well, he had an accident.<br /><br />He went to the car to change into something clean.<br /><br />That was about as good a reason as any, and I can't fault him not wanting to sit around in his own mess.<br /><br />Cheetah's is back in my good graces, but from now on I'm just going to keep my car keys in my pocket.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-7651999073233773712?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-51314870378063586822009-12-23T13:16:00.001-05:002009-12-23T13:18:58.868-05:00Wet dreams and Siamese headsStarting off my Christmas vacation today, I had a wet dream.<br /><br />Only it wasn't wet and I woke up before any clothing damage could be done.<br /><br />In the dream I was at a Vegas-style nightclub. <br /><br />I had to go to the bathroom, and entering the men's restroom, there were holograms of live women in sexy poses displayed on the stall doors.<br /><br />As you approached the stall door, the woman would react, telling you whether the stall was free. She'd be standoffish if occupied or beckon with her index finger if unoccupied.<br /><br />All the stalls were taken, so I left and ran into a girl who was standing on her hands. Yet she had another head below her.<br /><br />Sort of like being a Siamese twin, with her twin head being upside-down and attached to her knees.<br /><br />We began kissing, and I felt her exploring "down there," then suddenly I felt some not unpleasurable warmth and moisture around my private parts.<br /><br />It was her second head.<br /><br />So I was kissing and getting head (from a second head) from the same girl at the same time.<br /><br />It's been awhile since I've had any strange dreams, much less sexual dreams. Perhaps it was from the chicken wings, gingerbread yogurt, and box of Wheat Thins I ate last night.<br /><br />Nevertheless, a good start to the holiday break.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-5131487037806358682?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-941215584130444372009-12-09T23:59:00.003-05:002009-12-10T04:14:15.013-05:00UltimateBet took back my carThe Sapphire Gentlemen's Club has their 7th anniversary tomorrow night (free food and drinks from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m.)… which is when I would've been getting into town for the blogger tourney. Damn.<br /><br />I'm sad that I won't be able to go -- I actually held off cancelling my room (and tickets to Ronn Lucas, which I was using as my bounty prize) in case I could win enough to justify going. Chicago is under its first bad winter storm with wind chill at 20 below, and the desire to flee (to, uh, 38 degree weather in Vegas) has never been stronger. But it isn't to be.<br /><br />Changing the flight was easy. As for the hotel...<br /><br /><B>Harrah's:</b> For further assistance, please say one of the following: change reservation, cancel reservation, get rates --<br /><br /><B>grubby:</b> Cancel.<br /><br /><B>Harrah's:</b> Sorry, I didn't understand your response. If you are a member of our Total Rewards players club, please say yes. If you are not a member, please say no.<br /><br /><B>grubby:</b> Cancel.<br /><br /><B>Harrah's:</b> Sorry, I didn't understand your response. If you are calling to change an existing reservation --<br /><br /><B>grubby:</b> Cancel.<br /><br /><br />Later, after speaking with two hosts to cancel the room plus the tickets…<br /><br /><B>Harrah's:</b> You do know that there's a 72-hour cancellation policy.<br /><br /><B>grubby:</b> I just stayed at your casino last week and lost my soul.<br /><br /><br />Fortunately, they didn't hold me to their policy, which would've come off my Total Rewards points.<br /><br /><center>* * *</center><br />Thanks to BadBlood, Falstaff, Waffles, Dave R., and SheetWise for offering sympathy about my situation.<br /><br />SheetWise recollected a touching story about his uncle who hit bottom and then kept a promise to only gamble 10 percent of his salary.<br /><br />That's the foundation of maintaining a bankroll, which I need to stop ignoring if I want to stop going bust.<br /><br />I redeposited to Full Tilt and have been doing okay the past week, not risking more than 10 percent at a time. I'm setting a stop limit -- win or lose, once I hit my Iron Man for the day, I'll stop. I'm also focusing on sit-n-gos and staying away from cash games. Now if I have a bad streak, I'll move down in SnG levels rather than tilt away in 8/16 6max like usual.<br /><br />That's not to say I've been successful staying away from online gambling. I played over the weekend and also last night when I received a 25 percent bonus on the loss. They have a poker site, so the +EV play is to use the bonus to my advantage and just play poker. Whenever I deposit and win, I'll cash out. Whenever I deposit and lose, I'll just wait for the bonus and then play with that. I could just do multi-tournaments at a significant discount.<br /><br />Then today I received this email from UltimateBet about my cashout (the one that <a href="http://pokergrub.com/2009/11/ultimatebet-paid-for-my-car.html">paid for my rental car</a> for 2 weeks):<br /><blockquote>Dear Customer, <br /><br />Thank you for choosing UB.<br /><br />This email is to expaling you that your check for $442 tr id 18779916 processed on 11/09/2009, was canceled.<br />Please accept our sincere apologies about this situation. This problem was provoked by the closing of one of our provider’s accounts and we still do not have the specific reason why it happened. We are no longer using that payment method and are working hard to reissue all payout requests and cover fees incurred due to this issue.<br /><br />The funds, as you may already know, have been returned to your account including the fee you initially had to pay for the payout.<br /><br />In case you already cashed the check, we will gladly reimburse you for any overdraft fee you were charged for this matter, provided you show us where the amount is shown on your bank statement.<br /><br />We do not doubt your honesty, but we do need to see the charges on your statement before we can proceed with the request.</blockquote><br />Etc., etc.<br /><br />Figures.<br /><br />Before I finish reading the email, I find myself re-installing UB, see the $450, and instead of cashing out again, I play blackjack and lose it all.<br /><br />Frustrated, I deposit to another site, play blackjack, and surprisingly run it up to +$1300 (including $200 lost on slots). This covers the $450 from UB as well as what I lost over the weekend.<br /><br />I then almost put a bet down on Pacquiao (even money against Mayweather) but take it back because my 25 percent bonus on losses ends in February, and the fight if it happens would be after.<br /><br />I cashout.<br /><br />Clearly trying to quit on my own is proving to be a struggle.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-94121558413044437?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-30223236368781335942009-12-04T04:57:00.002-05:002009-12-04T05:52:03.950-05:00ConsequencesThe word "addiction" is tossed around lightly in society -- I'm addicted to chocolate, might as well face it I'm addicted to love, I'm so addicted to the things you do.<br /><br />But true addiction is continual use in the face of negative consequences, mainly when that use begins to affect work, health, relationships, or finances.<br /><br />For some, that's Bejeweled Blitz and its constant Facebook status updates that cause all your FB friends to either unfriend you or stage a mini-intervention.<br /><br />In my case, my addiction is whenever gambling, and the effect is all of the above with the exception of maybe work, where it ironically helps.<br /><br />As soon as I start gambling, I can't stop, I have no control. Playing slots, in my head I'll make mental notes that I'll cash out when I get to a certain point (when I'm down or up to this amount or when I hit the next bonus or when I get my drink or when it's this or that time), then when I get there I'll renegotiate with myself, and this inner exchange goes on until I'm down to nothing. No matter how much I win I will give it all back as well as whatever's in my pockets, including ATM withdrawals and credit card cash advances. I would pawn or eBay something if I had anything of value.<br /><br />I've mentioned stories of when grubette and I would first visit Atlantic City when slots accepted coins, and I'd put my last nickels into the machine before boarding the shuttle bus back to D.C.<br /><br />I have this need for action, it isn't about winning for me (if it were about winning, I wouldn't play the worst game in the casino or I'd at least only be playing Mega Millions for a chance at something big). Losing to me is just as strong an emotion. I relish stories of other people winning just the same as I regale in my own losing stories -- it becomes a contest how much you've lost just as much as how much you've won. Dropping a few nickels into those slots wouldn't have won any jackpots, but ridding myself of all my money signaled that I could finally stop and go home.<br /><br />Every single ad that appeared on the left column of this blog was paid for via transfer to my casino or poker account, and every bit of that was gambled away at their casino.<br /><br />I've gambled away entire paychecks in one sitting. If I get a reimbursement check, I spend that too. My car was totalled a few years ago, and the insurance check I received went entirely to online blackjack. I never replaced the car.<br /><br />In Las Vegas, I took a friend to the bank so he could withdraw $2500 and I could borrow it.<br /><br />I often kid about the tolls of gambling and being unable to stop until losing everything, but unfortunately all of that is too true and is fast catching up with me.<br /><br />So this gambling "habit" of mine comes with consequences, and one of those is that for the first time, I am going to have to skip this year's WPBT event next week.<br /><br />For my own health and well-being, not to mention bank account, I can't go back to Las Vegas for awhile.<br /><br />I've actually already paid for everything and the rooms and food are free, but I know the cost to change the flight will be far less than what I will end up losing while there. And I can use that flight for something else.<br /><br />AlCantHang mentioned meeting at Lagasse's Stadium (the snazzy lounge-turned-sportsbook with patio inside The Palazzo), and for those going Friday, Dec. 11 from 7-9 p.m., here's an offer to get free Ambhar Tequila and Bud Light Golden Wheat, plus half off appetizers, all for watching basketball and not having to gamble a cent.<br /><br />To RSVP, sign up at <a href="http://www.lasvegasweekly.com/partyonthepatio/"><I>Las Vegas Weekly</I></a>.<br /><br />Not much more to say about how far I've fallen because it's still too fresh. Only now am I dealing with the repercussions of what I did while in Vegas. Maybe one day I'll be able to post all the gory details.<br /><br />I'll miss you guys, but grubette will represent.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-3022323636878133594?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-51922518112040310382009-12-02T04:42:00.003-05:002009-12-02T05:53:26.856-05:00Las Vegas by the numbersI lost more than I can count or want to admit in Las Vegas so I thought I'd let these other unique numbers add for themselves. They're in chronological order of the whole trip.<br /><br />15<br />number of days spent in Las Vegas<br /><br />16<br />number of casinos where I played slots<br /><br />0<br />number of casinos where I played poker<br /><br />3700<br />total big win amount on slot machines ($900 Wizard of OZ -- Glinda the Good Witch; $800 Wizard of OZ -- Follow the Yellow Brick Road; $300 China Mystery; $800 Airplane!; $400 Cashman Tonight -- Lucky Miner; $500 Sun & Moon)... yet gave it all back plus more<br /><br />9<br />number of trips to the bank and ATMs<br /><br />5.99<br />ATM fee at Harrah's<br /><br />4<br />number of deposits made to Full Tilt and Bodog<br /><br />12.02<br />amount of money left in my savings account after transferring everything to checking so I could withdraw<br /><br />23.24<br />percent APR interest being paid on credit card<br /><br />200<br />dollar amount lost playing new Sex & the City slot machine, after triggering just one bonus<br /><br />500 <br />cost per bottle at the Moon nightclub at The Palms (not paid by me)<br /><br />1.5<br />number of times a can't-remember-if-she-was-attractive girl grabbed my butt while dancing (obviously not this girl pictured)<br /><br /><center><img src="http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/5606/moonbar.jpg"></center><br />428<br />dollar cost of rental car (unlimited mileage, so drove to and from California) <br /><br />425<br />total slot freeplay redeemed at The Venetian, M Resort, Binion's, and Silverton<br /><br />1000<br />dollars remaining in player points from Harrah's and Silverton, to be used for food and overpriced gifts<br /><br />6<br />number of trips to Target and Las Vegas Outlet Mall for new clothes<br /><br />400<br />dollar amount lost betting against Pacquiao (I'd do it again at those odds)<br /><br />6794<br />slot tournament score in third and final session at The Venetian. Need at least 10,000 each session to cash.<br /><br />20,000<br />first place prize for slot tournament<br /><br />1 to 2<br />number of cents wagered by old woman on slot machine (1 line, 1 or 2 bets per line). She had her legs akimbo on either side of the Jackpot Party Progressive game and was having a good ol' time. Sure, they're penny slots, but she was risking strangulation by me sitting next to her.<br /><br />44<br />number of minutes it took dealing with tech support to get wireless Internet working at Harrah's so that I could play my Full Tilt freeroll<br /><br />2.5<br />number of minutes it took to bust out of freeroll (my QQ vs. his 10-10)<br /><br />30,000<br />number of Grazie points required per year ($30,000 playthrough) to achieve or maintain Gold stats at The Venetian/Palazzo<br /><br />24,000<br />number of Grazie points earned this trip to get Gold<br /><br />75<br />lowest legal percentage payback allowed on a Nevada slot machine (meaning on average you get back 75 cents on the dollar)<br /><br />11,000<br />number of Total Reward points required per year ($55,000 playthrough) to achieve or maintain Diamond status at Harrah's<br /><br />3300<br />number of Total Rewards points a friend accumulated on my card in 2 days so that I could maintain Diamond for another year<br /><br />200<br />dollar amount in a Full Tilt transfer of what I owe my friend, since I challenged that he wouldn't be able to do it<br /><br />800<br />dollar amount of what I borrowed from the same friend<br /><br />35<br />dollar wager made by same friend on one spin of Star Trek game in Venetian's high-limit area. If only a Win Warp came.<br /><br />1100<br />number of Total Rewards points I needlessly added on top of the 11,000 even though I'm already Diamond<br /><br />10<br />number of people squeezed into free stripper shuttle to Cheetah's<br /><br />20<br />number of lapdances received from a Colombian stripper at Cheetah's<br /><br />5000<br />dollar amount a friend paid for entertainment at Cheetah's<br /><br />14<br />cost of Captain & Coke at Club Paradise<br /><br />7.99<br />new price of 8 oz. sirloin steak at Ellis Island, still a good 24-hour deal that includes beans, baked potato, soup, and beer or root beer<br /><br />5<br />number of free buffets consumed at M Resort (400-600 points earned for each, and keep the points)<br /><br /><center><img src="http://img697.imageshack.us/img697/8246/mbuffet.jpg"></center><br />3<br />at M Buffet, number of trips made for steamed crab legs (so good)<br /><br /><center><img src="http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/6450/crablegs.jpg"></center><br />17<br />average number of minutes spent in bathroom afterwards (mostly because of my lactose intolerance of ice cream)<br /><br />50<br />food comp dollar amount received at M Resort. But having received those buffets for free, the food comp was left to splurge on these items from the mini-bar.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://img697.imageshack.us/img697/3682/mresortminibar.jpg"></center><br />320<br />amount in slot machine when Cashman Tonight triggered and then crashed (bad Aristocrat). When it came back up, won $6 in the bonus and then lost the $320.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://img37.imageshack.us/img37/9705/cashmantonight.jpg"></center><br />2012<br />movie watched at Red Rock when out of money (in the mood for disaster movie to match finances)<br /><br />4.5<br />number of driving hours to California to visit mamagrub, grubette, and other family<br /><br />12<br />number of people at the dinner table for Thanksgiving<br /><br />167<br />dollar amount bet on one online blackjack wager, showing my cousin how not to play<br /><br />3.25<br />number of stuffed animal penguins at mamagrub's house that were taken and ravaged by dogs from family (mamagrub had never had any animals in the house before)<br /><br /><center><img src="http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/3407/penguing.jpg"></center><br />30<br />minimum number of status updates on grubette's Facebook wall that she deleted stating she's playing Bejeweled Blitz<br /><br />2<br />number of "free" sweatshirts received at Silverton for earning 500 points per day<br /><br />6700<br />number of needlessly earned points above the 500<br /><br />1<br />sweatshirt not received because a gaming day does not begin until 2 a.m., which is not listed in their fine print<br /><br />1.50<br />unbelievably low price for a big bag of gummi bars from the Silverton mini-bar<br /><br />7.45<br />unbelievably low price for a dinner buffet at Silverton (2-for-1 or 50 percent off between 4 p.m. and 10 p.m.)<br /><br />25<br />percent charged instantly when taking out a payday loan. I didn't, though I checked into it.<br /><br />281<br />number of text messages sent/received over my normal 200 limit while in Las Vegas (at 5 cents each, still less than $40 extra per month)<br /><br />42<br />cost of cab ride from airport to home in no traffic, worth it considering it's basically a blackjack wager<br /><br />38<br />number of free hotel room offers received in the mail when returning home<br /><br />11<br />number of days until annual WPBT blogger tournament in Las Vegas (not sure if I'll be able to make it, have you been reading this?)<br /><br />6/1/10<br />new date to wait for UIGEA to be enforced (which means more money to be lost online)<br /><br />33<br />number of ants killed on Post-Its in my cube on first day back at work<br /><br /><center><img src="http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/7389/deadants.jpg"></center><br />31<br />number of minutes trying to format this into an HTML table before giving up<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-5192251811204031038?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-33835608635831915992009-11-27T19:00:00.002-05:002009-11-27T19:07:03.891-05:00Betting your life on a coin flipI've hit several types of rock bottom, all to do with gambling.<br /><br />Now I've gambled away my life.<br /><br />When I lived in Las Vegas, betting was the norm. Pauly and I made prop bets all the time: the color of the flop, the outcome of the old Excalibur poker wheel, what kind of car the waitress drove (and if we both lost, the money added to her tip).<br /><br />In Key West and Chicago, I've made props with Donkey Puncher: who would be the first poker blogger to get up out of their armchair (all were asleep watching football), the over/under on number of tattoos on the waitress, how long it would take Bobby Bracelet to spend in the bathroom. <br /><br />These were all small bets -- prop = fun.<br /><br />Not until getting to Chicago did the bets get larger. Friends and I will wager 50-50 bets on games, typically going double-or-nothing until the loser cries uncle. I've lost half my paycheck on these games.<br /><br />Now we flip coins for meals. After continually losing these things (how can I expect to win an even 50-50 bet if I can't win in poker when I'm an 80-20 favorite?), one friend proposed a new bet.<br /><br />A single coin flip for $100 per paycheck for life.<br /><br />I refused, then he dropped the period to 1 year.<br /><br />I again refused but countered with a coin flip to get on the other's company life insurance policy as sole beneficiary.<br /><br />At work, our life insurance is twice our annual salary.<br /><br />We're both single with no kids, so true heirs are irrelevant, at least to me. I'll be dead anyway, so life insurance to me is meaningless.<br /><br />It does, however, affect grubette and mamagrub, who are my beneficiaries splitting evenly (along with the stipulation that they take the money to Vegas and gamble 10 percent of it).<br /><br />My friend agreed to the terms but dropped to 25 percent of the other's life insurance for a period of 5 years. And if either leaves the company for whatever reason, the agreement is nulled.<br /><br />We were at a Chinese restaurant, already flipping the quarter for other things and generally making a lot of noise.<br /><br />The quarter was flipped one more time, and I called heads.<br /><br />Tails.<br /><br />I called HR and had the papers drawn up.<br /><br />Sorry, grubette and mamagrub, you're now splitting 75 percent in case you're wondering who the strange man is at the will reading and next to you at the blackjack table.<br /><br />And now, at least for the next 5 years (which I've been given anywhere from 50:1 to 200:1 chances of dying naturally), I'll be watching my back.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-3383560863583191599?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-50456269816957357292009-11-26T04:39:00.001-05:002009-11-26T04:41:52.201-05:00Don't wear white at a strip club"Hello, Papi," the girl from Colombia said as she thrust her pelvis into me. From 0 to 2 seconds was all it took. An instant turn-on.<br /><br />I didn't leave her side until 20 dances later.<br /><br />The ride to Cheetah's came courtesy of their free shuttle bus stuffed with 10 people. You can call the club and arrange free pickup, which conveniently also comps each passenger his entry fee. This is especially appreciated by me, who no longer possesses a free stripper card (a.k.a. Nevada driver's license that gets locals into any Vegas strip club for free). You can also get any cabbie to take you to any club for free, as they get kickbacks per person brought to the club (when stepping into the cab, say "Can you take us to XXX for free?" and step out if they say no). But while your cab fare is free, you may still be obligated to pay the admission fee anywhere from $10 to $30.<br /><br />Cheetah's is my favorite gentlemen's club in Las Vegas (Spearmint Rhino is my favorite when doing The Procedure with Pauly and BadBlood). Girls at Cheetah's don't seem especially in a hurry (though for girls in even less of a hurry and maybe lacking ambition, check out Seamless). They won't be the girl next door type (Little Darlings) or the ballroom gown type (Scores/Rick's) but they're more down to earth and fun than any other club I've been to. And heck, it was featured in the movie <I>Showgirls</I>. Even after some <a href=http://pokergrub.com/archive/2008_07_01_pokergrub_archive.html>stripper stole my rental car keys</a> on July 4th, I still go back.<br /><br />I have Cheetah's numbers programmed into my iPhone -- (702) 384-0074 and the shuttle driver at (702) 427-9996. If you have a group of at least 5, they're happy to pick up your group for a private ride. If less, they'll pick you up and then make other stops to fill the shuttle.<br /><br />Last time I rode the Cheetah's bus, I had just ordered nachos and potato skins when they arrived earlier than expected. Eating them in the stripper mobile is a bit uncouth, made more so when I jokingly offered it to the driver as a tip.<br /><br />One of our group hit two royals that day and as soon as each of our group had girls on our laps, he splurged for the first round of dances. He blew through all of one of the royal money that night.<br /><br />The girl who called me Papi also called me by my real name. She remembered the last time I was there, when I went into the back room with her (one of many times over the past 3 years). I normally give a fake name (Steve, now Von) and fake profession (inflate tires on UPS trucks, tour with Cirque du Soleil, produce adult films) but somehow I was truthful with her.<br /><br />Before I could grab a seat or drink with my friends, she led me to a dark but comfortable corner.<br /><br />There are some girls where you appreciate the flirty conversation beforehand, there are others where you just want them to get down to business.<br /><br />She was in the latter.<br /><br />And she wasn't initially attractive either. She isn't the type to be given double-takes. The first time she approached me a few years ago, I said no. Calling people "papi" isn't the best bedroom talk. But boy does she make up for it.<br /><br />Immediately picking up where she left off on my last visit (where the bouncer kept coming in saying that I couldn't do what I was doing), on the third song she unzipped my pants, gently shoved her hand down, and began taking liberties I didn't mind her taking. Her scraggly hair covered what she was doing, and her eyes darted around making sure no one was watching.<br /><br />A true professional.<br /><br />A friend who spent a couple thousand dollars in the G Spot private room said that was more than he got.<br /><br />I made a mental note to next time wear dark underwear, because the white stands out in the blacklight lighting of the club.<br /><br />Song 20 seemed a good a time to end as any, not to mention I was out of money (and seemingly also out a pants button).<br /><br />She was off to Colombia for Thanksgiving but I promised I'd be back before then. Which I would have, had I not later lost all my strip club money on slot machines.<br /><br />I did make a trip to the ATM which charged a $15 fee (the gougement is usually in the $25 range) and had two dances with a persistent Thai girl.<br /><br />We talked green curry and other Thai dishes, and she was into making out (the Colombian girl wasn't). But when nibbling on her ear, she pulled away, slapped me, punched my crotch hard, then bit me on the cheek. And then said we were even.<br /><br />I did it again just to get the same reaction.<br /><br />Had a few other dances with other girls, but none compared to the Colombian, who later joined me and said that someone just had 12 dances with her and I still held the record. She needed a few more to make her nut for the evening, and I pointed her toward a couple prospects.<br /><br />About 3 a.m., we abandoned a few of our men and took the shuttle bus back to the hotel for breakfast.<br /><br />While eating, one said that he was off to Club Paradise and would text if it was good.<br /><br />Which he did, and additionally said that there was no cover.<br /><br />When a friend and I arrived, the place was completely empty except for a cocktail waitress. I've never cared for Club Paradise but thought it may have changed since Howard Stern started taking his radio show there (back in the terrestrial days). <br /><br />I texted asking where he was, and out he came like Hugh Hefner, in his t-shirt and a girl from every nationality draped around him.<br /><br />We joined him in his private room that contained a bar, and he left us with three girls as he took the best-looking one to an hourlong dance.<br /><br />We sat over $14 drinks and girls who were a little worse for wear originally from Chicago.<br /><br />My girl, Darien, claimed to be an ex-pornstar who was on the cover of <I>Cherry</I> magazine probably from the late '80s. Her body looked good but her face looked like it had danced with a truck. She had meth-looking crumbling teeth and a scrunched face. And this was in the <I>dark</I>.<br /><br />I took out the last of my money -- three $20 bills.<br /><br />"What can I get for this?" I said.<br /><br />Darien took the money, folded it neatly into her purse, and said she'd give me a deal, which amounted to two dances that reminded me more of the typical dances from Chicago -- little contact.<br /><br />In Darien's case, it was coupled by a kiss that tasted like cigarettes, Hennessy, and pineapple juice, and skin that felt like rubber bands. And porn talk in my ear that really has no place anywhere but in the actual bedroom.<br /><br />I couldn't get into her as much as I tried, and was thankful when it was over. I figured the part when it ended was the deal.<br /><br />We high-tailed it out of the club, leaving our one friend to fend for himself in his remaining 30-minute dance in the back corner.<br /><br />Later we texted him, "Thanks for the scraps."<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-5045626981695735729?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-62849908459215561072009-11-13T03:53:00.002-05:002009-11-13T03:57:37.617-05:00Going to the casino to lose lessI haven't been to Harrah's Horseshoe this month, and I have a daily freeplay offer of at least $15 every day (can go up to $1000). Freeplay must be played through a slot machine once before cashing out -- which I've never done, by the way, as I will play freeplay until it's all gone… similar to the Bodog ads on this blog -- all revenue was deposited into my casino account, and I'd blow it all on blackjack. Freeplay is designed to get you in the door, the casino counting on the fact that the bells and whistles will lure you in to spend much more.<br /><br />Well-intentioned me would go right before midnight, use one coupon, wait till midnight, then use the other, then go home. Or maybe play some poker while waiting for midnight to come around. (The casino has been open for 17 months and I've only played poker there once.)<br /><br />Oh yeah, the casino is about 35 minutes away, and there's $6 roundtrip tolls.<br /><br />Is it worth it? I have this struggle often.<br /><br />How about free buffets in the Diamond Lounge and $15 in miscellaneous food from the deli? I've used the food comp on big cookies before. Somehow knowing that the $1.50 retail value of the cookies end up costing me $300 each makes them taste better.<br /><br />How about the fact that I have to turn in the rental car tomorrow morning and I filled the tank when I only needed to fill it 3/4. That's free gas and mileage going to waste.<br /><br />To sum up, that's $30, free buffet, $15 in cookies, and $6 tolls.<br /><br />How much does the above need to be before you say yes (for me, the tipping point is the $15/day… $10 per day is a dealbreaker)? If you're normal in the head, you know this isn't worth the effort. Logically, I also know it.<br /><br />But gambling ain't logical, and my twisted reasoning for going is to take advantage of the casino, to make them hurt. (Yeah, $30 will really make a dent in their profits, bad economy or not.)<br /><br />A friend offered to buy up my freeplay coupons, paying me $30 a day not to gamble. He then offered $100 to not gamble this week.<br /><br />I turned him down.<br /><br />I didn't want his money, I wanted the casino's.<br /><br />Better might be if we made a deal where I had to return his $30 and pay another $30 if I gambled that day.<br /><br />I'd probably still do it.<br /><br />Like in Michael Powell's <I>The Red Shoes</I> but substituting gambling for dancing, if you were to ask me what goes on in my head, "Why do you want to gamble?"<br /><br />I'd respond, "Why do you want to live?"<br /><br />I was debating whether to go, right up until 9:15 p.m., as 10 p.m. was the cutoff for the buffet. Then it would only be $30 freeplay and $15 cookies.<br /><br />What probably saved me was mamagrub calling again to talk about another Vegas trip she just returned from.<br /><br />A gambling story saved me from gambling.<br /><br />But that's not entirely true, as I deposited $500 via my already hurting credit card, ran it up to $1402, and then lost it all, all in online blackjack. <br /><br />Getting me out of the house and away from online gambling is a positive.<br /><br />I wonder how many people view a casino's freeplay as losing less than sitting in front of the computer.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-6284990845921556107?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-89126646687922002092009-11-12T04:04:00.003-05:002009-11-12T05:09:39.752-05:00UltimateBet paid for my carI rented a car for Halloween so I wouldn't have to wear my costume on public transit. Apparently I went as Lenny Kravitz if Lenny were a Rastafarian New Zealander.<br /><br />The Halloween party was a good time, with my costume significantly covering enough of me that I could lose my inhibitions and approach strange women with lighted breasts (who may have crashed our private party) and comically hump them like a dog with reckless abandon.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/1088/grubhalloween.jpg"></center><br />I also somehow sneaked a set of silverware into my oversized pocket. When drinking, I seem to develop kleptomania. Three more trips to that bar and I'll be ready to host a dinner party.<br /><br />The next day, I drove to Four Winds and Blue Chip, a Boyd Gaming property in Michigan City, Indiana, that has one of the worst buffets I've ever had (yes, worse than Imperial Palace in Vegas). Though that didn't prevent me from using my buffet comps to stuff myself silly on a bad dinner and a bad breakfast.<br /><br />Used up $150 in freeplay but the night ended up costing me much more.<br /><br />Still, the room was nice and comfortable, and on the big screen TV I got to watch a behind-the-scenes look at the D.C. snipers (one of whose death I celebrated yesterday by going to Five Guys for lunch) and what George Washington really looked like.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/8263/bluechipbath.jpg"></center><br /><center><img src="http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/2732/bluechipbed.jpg"></center><br /><center><img src="http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/646/bluechipbed2.jpg"></center><br />On the way out was a line of senior citizens awaiting a lunch buffet for Bud Ruby's 90th. Hopefully we weren't sharing the same food, or Bud may not see 91.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/9691/budruby.jpg"></center><br />Happy birthday, Bud.<br /><br />Cooped up without a car for 3 years, the drive to the casinos was an excuse to find a nice long peaceful road to drive on. And of course, at the destination I could take out my frustrations and stress and anger on gambling. There's such satisfaction to slapping that slot machine button, risking H1N1, and ogling girls dressed up as Wonder Woman -- all under one roof.<br /><br />Laziness ensued after the rental week was up, so I extended it for one more week and have been going to Target every day. The Toyota Aztec is really growing on me, I may never give it up.<br /><br /><center>* * *</center><br />My bulk email folder showed me that UltimateBet spammed me with a free $25.<br /><br />I haven't played UB since losing a ton in blackjack 3 years ago with no bonuses or points (I constantly wrote to them about that and they'd say "soon"), and I removed their software before the superaccount scandal.<br /><br />But hey, a free $25 is worth re-installing for another peek at ol' Annie Duke.<br /><br />Although I haven't played there in ages, they kept me at Contender level (I last played before they had any tiered status), and their new (?) RAISE program offers a way to trade my points for cash instead of some trifling in their store.<br /><br />I had two options: trade 3572 points for $25 or 7144 for $50. I had more points, but it was capped at the odd 7144 number. Perhaps next month I'll be able to convert more.<br /><br />I went with the $50, bringing my free loot to a total of $75.<br /><br />To cash out, UB now charges a fee. A check by mail costs $8, a check by courier costs $25, and a wire transfer costs $50.<br /><br />A 10 percent surcharge? No thanks. Maybe I could win 8 bucks to offset.<br /><br />Wandering around their revamped site, I saw that the bad beat jackpot recently hit for a whopping $273k. They split $89k to the bad beat winner (quad Jacks), $44k to the winning hand (straight flush), $1351 to the 3 players in the hand, and $351 to 80 players at the same stakes.<br /><br />They also removed multiplayer blackjack, which is what I lost big on a few years back. I'm guilty of flooding that chat box with creative curse words, expressing how rigged I thought blackjack was to fellow players. A few months later, players were found to be using poker accounts that saw every player's hole card. So the idea of rigged blackjack isn't that far off.<br /><br />They also now have Step tourneys, which I hope Full Tilt adds soon. SnGs on Tilt are much more difficult now than they were 5 years ago, mostly because players are aware of the correct ICM pushes and calls, which to me makes the game more about luck.<br /><br />But satellites and step tourneys -- those contain more recreational players.<br /><br />Played a $10 step SnG, where I came in 9th. Then played an Elimination Blackjack game for $2, which I won.<br /><br />Then returned to the beast and played regular blackjack.<br /><br />Playing online blackjack for so long, you get a feel for hands and streaks. That's all fallacy, I'm sure (nothing about gambling is logical), but playing at UB was such a difference from playing at Bodog, where my flawed tracking shows the dealer consistently getting 4 times as many blackjacks as the player, over 5000 hands. And playing into my rigged conspiracy theory, Bodog is taking over 2 weeks now to send me my blackjack play history.<br /><br />UB's blackjack seemed like regular table blackjack: in other words, non-rigged.<br /><br />Played small to win the $8 shipping fee, then kept going and ended up running the $75 to $450 before cashing out.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/5183/ubbj.jpg"></center><br />$442 will cover the rental car for 2 weeks, and I like the idea of gambling paying for at least something before I inevitably lose it all.<br /><br />Now to see if I can turn some other freeplay into my Vegas rental car payment next week.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-8912664668792200209?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-63711178521832584142009-11-10T09:22:00.002-05:002009-11-10T09:29:55.048-05:00How to stop master bettingYesterday, on <a href="http://www.ask.com">Ask.com</a>, someone searched for "i need help to stop mastyrbating i have been doing it for 2 years" and found Poker Grub.<br /><br />After years of being online, the blog has finally achieved its goal of being the #3 site for misspelled masturbating.<br /><br />Sorry, guy, except for the hairy palms and blindness, you're on your own.<br /><br />Working in gaming, we were trying to come up with an all-encompassing word for a complete bet. In pai gow ("PAI GOW!" as grubette would say while throwing up her hands) there's generally a fortune bet/envy bonus, which is a side bet you can make in addition to your bet hand. This gets you something extra for a straight or better (all 7 cards) plus if another player gets quads or better, you share in their fortune.<br /><br />That's a long way to say, what do you call the combined pai gow bet plus the side bet?<br /><br />"Master Bet" was considered.<br /><br />And then tossed.<br /><br />Are you going to master bet? How many times did you master bet today? I can't master bet anymore because I'm married.<br /><br />Welcome to Master Betters Anonymous.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-6371117852183258414?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-48244712291832686182009-11-08T16:00:00.002-05:002009-11-08T16:11:08.884-05:00Rethinking the UIGEAI talk to mamagrub on the phone once every couple months and she usually does all the talking.<br /><br />Now that she's retired, she has time on her hands and has been taking a lot of trips -- the vacation kind (New Zealand, Canada, Hawaii) and the casino kind (every week in California or Las Vegas).<br /><br />Chatting for 2.5 hours about slot machines can be grueling because I know what she's talking about already -- from new games to wins and losses to comps to the gambling experience. I can get a clear visual picture, though, since I tend to know the exact locations of the games in the casinos, just from visiting them so many times. If someone were to ask what my superpower is, it would be that, as meager a superpower as that might be. <br /><br />But within those 2.5 hours she'll say things that have me laughing, usually about her own life.<br /><br />A few days ago she visited grubette, who was taking care of a friend's black labrador. Before retiring this year, mamagrub taught elementary school for increasingly rowdy and unruly kids who had even rowdier and unrulier parents. She said that the dog was beautiful and all, but she couldn't look it in the face because it looked exactly like a kid she taught, who was the worst student of her entire career.<br /><br />The image of a kid's face superimposed onto the dog's and mamagrub steering clear was enough to get me to forget about gambling losses for the day.<br /><br /><center>* * *</center><br />And oh those gambling losses. <br /><br />In the apartment across the hall (which used to be the apartment above before I moved upstairs), I hear a loud TV blasting the Bears game. The guy is pretty vocal, so I can follow what's going on based on what he's yelling.<br /><br />And what he just yelled is: "Oh my God, fucking hell! Jesus Christ! Fuck fuck fuck!"<br /><br />Sounds like the Cardinals scored.<br /><br />Or it could just as well be a bad beat on the river.<br /><br />His timings seem coordinated to my poker sessions. I generally show no reaction (positive or negative), but my thoughts are conveniently projected through him.<br /><br />Gambling has been of crushing proportions lately. I currently have less than $500 in my Full Tilt account, which is sadly more than what's in my bank account.<br /><br />Thinking back to my time in Vegas, I had maxed out my credit cards, cashed out my 401(k), and took an $8.50/hour job in my second year there. If not for Pauly signing on as a roommate to split costs (which he paid for a few months in advance), I don't know what I would've done.<br /><br />Now, even with a full-time job that pays more than $8.50/hour, my credit cards are again close to maxing out and I've borrowed against my 401(k). <br /><br />Three years later, I realize I'm in pretty much the same position as I was then.<br /><br />Poker has taken a drastic downturn. I can be up $4000 after a month and then lose it all in a few days. The swings aren't just from sit-n-gos; when I'm on a Sharkscope Super Tilt, I tend to load up the heads-up and 6max games where I'm usually crushed for double what my Sharkscope graph shows.<br /><br />I began recording 50/50 hands, where I'm all-in against someone else pre-flop. After almost 300 of these, I'm averaging 31 percent. Even giving myself 10 percent for errors and forgetting to record in my favor, that seems pretty far off. Then again, it may still be a small sample and in the near future I'll have a lot of pocket pairs that will hold up.<br /><br />I don't think online poker is rigged, but I do think I'm getting terribly unlucky.<br /><br />And that's par for the course in other luck areas -- slots and online blackjack being the primary culprits of my addiction. You'd think I would've hit something big in slots, for the amount I play.<br /><br />Playing on a bank of Cash Express slot machines, a woman sitting next to me said she only plays Geisha at 27 credits a spin (at nickel denom, $1.35). And she's hit the top progressive nine times.<br /><br />Nine friggin' times! Seven of those times were for $10,000 or more.<br /><br />I'm now making it my life mission to win one of these.<br /><br />I no longer play games such as Mr. Cashman or Gold Fish, where I can only win 40x bet or so. Instead, I'm going for the big scores.<br /><br />Over in blackjack, an online casino sent me a personal offer that I couldn't pass up: on any deposit, an instant 10 percent bonus that I can immediately play with, and 25 percent of any losses would be comped back to me. Also: no playthrough and unlimited withdrawals with no fees whether courier or wire transfer.<br /><br />And in addition to that, they still offer cash comps based on playthrough.<br /><br />Seemingly the advantage play would be to deposit a large amount, play with just the 10 percent bonus, then withdraw the whole thing. They'd probably kick me out of the VIP program if I did it too many times.<br /><br />I had stopped playing this online casino because I had 5 credit cards/gift cards registered and it wouldn't let me register another. A quick online chat had them remove all 5 and allowed me to register the new card.<br /><br />And I was back in business with a higher deposit limit of $5k per month.<br /><br />Not that I would ever reach that, but then, last year my limit was $3k per month and I maxed that out pretty often.<br /><br />My credit card let out a sigh as I did several deposits and used the 25 percent comp several times. Within that, I picked up a royal on quarter video poker ($1000) and was dealt quad Aces with a 3 kicker on dollar ($2000).<br /><br />And still lost.<br /><br />Last night I deposited $500, lost that, deposited $400, and won that back plus $1700. Then gave that $1700 back. I drowned my sorrow in Panda Express.<br /><br />I've now withdrawn my $900 to see if I will get 25 percent on that original $500 lost. I also requested my entire blackjack play history for the past 4 weeks.<br /><br />In my gamblin' heyday in Washington, D.C. and Las Vegas, I was playing online blackjack at a playthrough of $1.6 million per month (I knew this because I would get cash comps of $1600 every month, plus giant gift baskets every holiday).<br /><br />The house edge on the blackjack I was playing was very low -- assuming perfect strategy (which Microgaming had on autoplay), I was playing a 0.3 percent game.<br /><br />Even at 0.3 percent, though, I was expected to lose $4800 per month.<br /><br />That seems unfathomable now. But the play history will be a wakeup call, I'm sure, to see just how close I am to reverting back to my old ways.<br /><br />I want to put a stop to this, he says, being a few days away from going to Vegas.<br /><br />I signed up to the Poker Players Alliance but elected not to renew after sending my name and email to senators who now spam me with their form letters. I rescinded my support, because I now think that we (meaning I) would really be better off without online gambling of any sort.<br /><br />And if online poker is considered part of that, so be it.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-4824471229183268618?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-80468906568859924812009-10-03T16:32:00.001-04:002009-10-03T16:33:56.394-04:00The Blade of Damascus: collaborating with David S. Goyer (kinda)The excellent new ABC series "FlashForward" has creator David S. Goyer in the news, and while searching through some old writing I didn't know I still had, I found this.<br /><br />In July 1998 (back when everyone was still saying "the World Wide Web" and I was writing in WordPerfect 5.1 for DOS), TNT and New Line held a contest entitled the Rough Cut Screenplay Challenge. Goyer wrote the first few pages of a science-fiction spec script that would introduce characters and his world, then anyone could continue the story by submitting the next 10 pages of what happens next.<br /><br />Judges picked the best one to post, and it continued until the end (100-120 pages), when Goyer would wrap up the entire story with a final 5 pages.<br /><br />I never read the final script (roughcut.com doesn't seem to exist anymore, auto-forwarding to TNT), but I do remember a chance to win a laptop and, even better, collaborate with Goyer.<br /><br />I was (and still am) a big fan of Goyer because he wrote one of my favorite movies, <I>Dark City</I>. This was right before <I>Blade</I>, which came out during the contest.<br /><br />Reading through my submission, I vaguely remember writing it. I recall the themes I was trying to introduce, along with a trippy twist at the end for the next writer to pick up on. Science fiction was (and is) completely out of my element, which was another reason for wanting to compete.<br /><br />It wasn't picked by the judges, but I still thought it was pretty good. Certainly better than anything I'm writing now.<br /><br />Five months after the contest, I began -- but never finished -- my first science fiction script, which incorporated some of the same elements of what I'd introduced (though no time travel).<br /><br />1998 was a time of prolific writing for me. It was also when I transitioned away from screenplays and into plays, when I'd actually see my stuff produced. If that great time- and moneysuck of gambling and Vegas and poker hadn't overtaken my life, I imagine I would've had a very different life.<br /><br />Or I'd have a bunch more scripts stuffed in a drawer.<br /><br />My great return to writing fizzled today, with my missing the deadline for the play workshop contest. So my penance is to convert my old sci-fi script into Final Draft and see if I can remember where I was going with it, and if it's salvageable enough to finish it.<br /><br />So as I continue my trip down a writerly memory lane (i.e., procrastinating), here's a PDF of <a href="http://www.megaupload.com/?d=GXY5JYOP"><I>The Blade of Damascus</I></a>, Goyer's opening combined with my unedited continuation (which begins at page 5). It may seem disconnected because I picked up after someone else's posted pages, which I no longer have.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-8046890656885992481?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-50209887616406913492009-09-24T12:24:00.002-04:002009-09-24T12:31:09.417-04:00Abandonment issues with the gas station guyNine years ago, a women's theater in Los Angeles did a staged reading of seven of my short plays, and because it was a workshop and I couldn't be there, they discussed the plays afterwards and then jotted down comments anonymously.<br /><br />Depending on the piece and theater company, I sometimes submitted plays with just my first initial so that being male wouldn't bias the initial reader. I didn't do that with this group.<br /><br />For some reason, when I received the comments I put them in an envelope and stored them in a closet, never reading them.<br /><br />Going through boxes as I was unpacking, I found the cards and read through them. I found it serendipitous because I'm struggling to write something now, and I needed the pick-me-up (or criticism). Nine years was enough distance away that I was no longer close to the plays, which have faded like old memories.<br /><br />In no particular order, here are some of the comments…<br /><blockquote>You don't need bad words, dear.<br /><br />Why would Maddie say the "F" word -- unless women say that word all that much? Love the tooth fairy that is holding the stars together by floss. <br /><br />Get the current terms of "boss" and "cool" from young people who actually listen to that music. What terms do kids say these days?<br /><br />Not funny. Just another excuse to use the "F" word. These people need help, not funny.<br /><br />Whoa. Where did that come from? Not sure what comment to say except that -- go figure -- it WAS entertaining. Demented, twisted -- but funny as hell. <I>Something About Mary</I> with a baby instead of a dog -- crossed with David Lynch. Sure was funny (better as a movie?). It worked.<br /><br />Very scattered and overly dramatic.<br /><br />Weird, but funny! I'd make a hell of a great baby! [Name & phone #] if you ever do it out here in LA!<br /><br />Has pathos, on track. Nice piece for young actress.<br /><br />My first impression is I have no idea what was happening. Why the cat? What nurse? Huh? Very interesting.<br /><br />Poison stinger near end was great. But what tone do you want? Bittersweet or just Neil Simon.<br /><br />I felt you introduced ideas and then didn't resolve them. <br /><br />Needed more bite between sisters.<br /><br />Very lyrical, meaning very deep.<br /><br />I would have liked for it to be a bit deeper.<br /><br />The characters were a bit cliche.<br /><br />What's with the "sun" stuff in the beginning?<br /><br />Crazy, loony, but very effective. I had my doubts about this one but it worked. Very allegorical.<br /><br />I didn't trust the character, so when she started showing her vulnerability and pain, I had a wall up to her.<br /><br />I related to her.<br /><br />Was Christopher Durang-ish -- entertaining with shock value.<br /><br />Schtick went on too long.<br /><br />Good and heartfelt.<br /><br />Dragged out.<br /><br />Absolutely captivating. Want more.<br /><br />Emergency arose -- had to leave early. Lives a long distance away.<br /><br />Truthful, witty dialogue.<br /><br />Yuck. Would need an exceptional actor to pull this off.<br /><br />Wow. Very sweet. Very moving. Very real. Very honest. Very poignant. Very good. Wow.<br /><br /><I>Beaches</I>-esque. <br /><br />You have many stops in the middle of thoughts which is an interesting style, but difficult to constantly believe and follow.<br /><br />Lead me down a path to a beautiful destination.<br /><br />Touching and beautiful story.<br /><br />Would have liked more dynamicism in it.<br /><br />I'm pro-choice and this ending made me uncomfortable.<br /><br />Thank you for writing lots of female characters.<br /><br />Love metaphysical plots.<br /><br />Could feel her pain of lost son as I have lost mine short time ago.<br /><br />Kept me in suspense.<br /><br />A nice, Kafa-esque feel, almost of being in some kind of between-life-and-death limbo.<br /><br />A more traditional -- or should I say "classic" approach to drama -- paid off in a more engrossing and involving drama. Skirted the edges of soap opera, but managed to avoid tripping over the line. Should try this more traditional line of writing more often -- a success!<br /><br />Nice boiling of emotions, confusion, and grappling with conflicting thoughts.<br /><br />Touched a chord in me -- was touching since I've been through a divorce and miscarriage. Fascinating. Bravo. Loved so much happening at once. I enjoyed the mystery of it.<br /><br />Touching -- felt her pain.<br /><br />I liked it -- typical -- perhaps a little too trite -- too common. <br /><br />I could see the dark-haired "Dynasty" star -- forgot her name -- playing Vanessa. <br /><br />Interesting piece with warmth and loving peace at end.<br /><br />Good that you differentiate "au revoir" and "adieu."<br /><br />Too farfetched.<br /><br />The feeling that she is all alone really comes out. <br /><br />You captured the female sarcasm and fears. Some gals I know could really act that way but no "F" words -- who talks that way, just dumb guys do.<br /><br />Not sure about cat?<br /><br />What purpose does the cat hold?<br /><br />All made sense at ending but why the gas station man.<br /><br />Not clear about the gas station guy.<br /><br />What was their relationship to the guy at the gas station.<br /><br />We never really know what it was -- was it a man? Was it the gas station guy?<br /><br />Why bring a bimbo to this event?<br /><br />Lots of abandonment issues.</blockquote><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-5020988761640691349?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-89398279746490655932009-09-07T12:32:00.002-04:002009-09-07T12:51:44.089-04:00Eye for an eye, or a turkey dinnerLady Gaga's "Poker Face" annoys me for some reason; I feel the same way about Lady Gaga herself.<br /><br />But this <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTqQjQNVehg">"Poker's Gay"</a> parody created for a guy's 25th birthday is funny and inside and shows he has great friends who tolerate his constant online poker playing.<br /><br />No thanks to Full Tilt's triple points promo (doubled up with Take 2), Labor Day weekend was spent putting a lot of hours at the tables. Began down $700, then down another $600, then made it all back plus some. Big swings for piddly SnGs (made worse by the sorry fact I jump into -EV heads-up cash games after a few too many SnG beats). And the weekend's not over, with one final 3x sprint starting up in a couple hours.<br /><br />Elated at the miraculous recovery, I texted a friend who responded, "Not gonna quit while you're ahead?"<br /><br />After a lifetime of gambling, I don't think I can ever be ahead.<br /><br />I said I'm saving up for a TV.<br /><br />Which can happen in a few ways. I have enough Full Tilt points to get a 37" LCD or I can save another 2 months' worth of points to get a 50" plasma.<br /><br />Or I can cash in my Iron Man medals for $75 tournament tokens and try to win enough to buy the TV outright (the same Panasonic Viera G10 50" goes for $1200 on Amazon -- which in 2 months would probably be $1100). If I think I'm any good at SnGs, this shouldn't be that difficult. And I can keep my points.<br /><br />Or I can just keep playing. I'm not too far away from getting the TV anyway. But really, the TV's the biggest item in the store (not counting the Mini Cooper for just 2.6 million more points)… what else would I use the points for?<br /><br />2009 has been a brutal year for me in poker. From Aug. 1-19, I deposited 10 times for $2339 (I deposit in odd amounts to be able to keep track). My last deposit was Aug. 19 for $300 and have since made it all back. Hopefully the seed money will keep going, though anytime I get cocky I go on massive downswings and have to use my points for a few tournaments to try to get me above water again. I do think I'm overdue to get my coin flips back up to 50/50 (even though each is still independent at 50/50). I've been tracking my all-in beats for hands like QQ vs. AK, and I'm at 30/70. But that's over a small 200-game sample, along with human error (the losses are more memorable than the wins -- speaking of, my longest loss in a row was 14, which matches my loss record in blackjack). Here's hoping I'll be ahead over the next 200 flips.<br /><br />I've been without a TV for 3 years now, do I really need one?<br /><br />Wouldn’t the money better be spent saving up for a car?<br /><br />Or paying medical bills?<br /><br />On Aug. 23, my eye had bloated up into something out of a horror movie (I'd say Fulci), with blood, pus, and tears all caked up and conspiring to get rid of the foreign object within, which was seemingly something like a smaller eye growing under my eyelid that was competing to push my eye out of its socket.<br /><br />The doctors and I don't know how it began except that it started with a gland infection. I was moving the whole weekend (dust particles?) and had what felt like a stye which got progressively worse and then ballooned into what looked like going a few rounds with Mike Tyson (well, one round).<br /><br />I'm not prone to going to doctors. My last regular one was Dr. Takagi in my early teens. Then one more visit to a Kaiser Permanente doctor through my first full-time job, and since then nothing. In Vegas, I purchased my own health insurance through esurance.com, but in the final months when money was tight I got rid of that.<br /><br />So I don't take hospital visits lightly, preferring to wait it out.<br /><br />The pain in my eye was so great that I had no choice not to go.<br /><br />I had rented a minivan to help with the move (not so much with furniture, which was being delivered, but with buying new stuff), and it worked out being able to drive myself around and stop at the McDonald's drive-thru where I didn't have to deal with people staring (it's my right eye, so I could stay in profile while paying and getting my Angus mushroom burgers).<br /><br />First stop was the MinuteClinic, a little walk-in clinic inside select CVS drugstores. Much better experience than going to a hospital.<br /><br />I parked in the lot and dug into my fries, while dabbing at the constant tears coming out of my eye.<br /><br />A car pulled up in front of me, and he parked and waited. Then another woman pulled up and did the same thing. And a third guy. I was surrounded.<br /><br />Why were these people just staying in their car and not going into the store?<br /><br />They probably didn't care, but if they took a look at me, I would've been observed as massively bawling while stuffing myself with McDonald's in a Dodge Grand Caravan.<br /><br />Making a beeline to the MinuteClinic, I was second on the waiting list. I stood with my right side against an end-of-aisle wall of toilet paper while pretending to concentrate on my iPhone. This took attention away from my Elephant Man impression.<br /><br />Until a couple came down the aisle, looking at toilet paper sales. I was in their way, even though they could've walked around. <br /><br />I looked at both of them with my Terminator eye before moving to the waiting room chair. They didn't see where I went, but to add to my sensitivity, as they walked away I heard one say, "Did you see that guy's eye?"<br /><br />The doctor saw me in a few minutes and said to go straight to the ER, that she suspected orbital cellulitis and didn't want to mess around.<br /><br />I hopped back in the minivan and went to the ER she recommended, debating whether I should change into clean underwear.<br /><br />The hospital took me immediately, and suddenly I was in a swarm of doctors and nurses who alternated between poking and prodding, and leaving me alone to a marathon of CSI reruns (which made me realize I don't miss having a TV).<br /><br />I was given a numbing agent and other things for my eye, a culture of my eye pus was taken, I was wheeled down to the basement for a CT scan (felt like a Disneyland ride in the wheelchair), I was doped up with an IV drip of clindamycin, and I was offered a free turkey dinner.<br /><br />And you know I'm feeling bad when I turn down a free meal.<br /><br />And then I waited for 2 hours while they consulted with an eye specialist to see if I should stay the night or go home with drugs (that could include intravenous, the needle of which I couldn't even administer correctly to a diabetic 20-year-old cat when I was petsitting). <br /><br />I texted grubette about my progress, and she looked up the suspected diagnosis and said they would just give me a bunch of antibiotics and I'd be as good as new.<br /><br />Looking in the mirror, my eye was pushed toward my nose like a crazy Halloween death mask. I just wanted to grab a spoon and pop out the cursed thing just to make the pain go away. I could scarcely believe I'd bounce back from this.<br /><br />Sitting in Exam Room #1, I watched patients swoon over a gay Hispanic George Clooney doctor, I heard Mr. Gonzales have a temper tantrum that caused all of security to rush in (the way my mind works, I viewed it as a con's distraction and looked for potential hospital drug thieves), and I saw a hot nurse open a bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos and eat them one by one while licking her fingers.<br /><br />The doctor came in with results of the CAT scan and said, "Unfortunately, the infection spread to the bone area around your eye." The concern was that it had spread to my brain, where it looked like it was headed. But he figured antibiotics would take care of it.<br /><br />The official diagnosis was indeed orbital cellulitis, a.k.a. infection of the eye socket. My prescription was 1200 mg of clindamycin and 1000 mg of ciprofloxacin per day (pills, thank goodness), plus followup visits with an eye specialist.<br /><br />And then, 5 hours after admittance, I was let go. <br /><br />I'm now off the medication, and my eye looks and feels a lot better thanks to the miracle drugs.<br /><br />The specialist (wearing a red bow-tie) who looked at me in the followup visit said that if they hadn't caught the infection in time, it would've been "lethal."<br /><br />Conveying that on Facebook, a friend said, "Lethal like you could take out a group of baseball bat wielding teenagers or lethal like you could take out a small city?"<br /><br />I like to think of my eye shooting lasers at evildoers, but I'll take feeling normal anytime.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-8939827974649065593?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-21431327352949669922009-07-10T19:04:00.001-04:002009-07-10T19:28:44.591-04:00Vegas!by grubette<font color=gray>I have finally recovered from a long weekend in Vegas.<br /><br /><img src="http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/8955/apaperrla.jpg" align=left>This trip was to celebrate the removal of this APA Perrla icon from my desktop. If you know what it is, you know what I've been doing for the past 2 1/2 years. This little program saved me the purchase of a $125 book, despite the bemoaning of my professors.<br /><br />I did a little analysis on the cost of attendance for my newly minted degree: $24 for tuition and a few hundred for books. Tuition was mostly waived by work. Books I bought and sold back on half.com. Who says you can't go to school for nearly free? You only have to know how to work the system (and be a public <strike>slave</strike> servant for a few years). Ironically, the cost to request to graduate was $50, more than twice my tuition! Also ironically, after being a piss poor student during my undergrad years, I graduated this time with a 3.9 GPA (a statistic that no one but adoring mamagrub would admire).<br /><br />As Vegas would not be Vegas without grubby, he met us for the holiday weekend. Doug and I were also joined by Samir, Iden and Sonya (from the OC yo). Grubs hooked us up at Flamingo and we hooked him up at Harrah's. <br /><br />The OC gang hit the Orleans. Flamingo has the best pool on the strip for the price. Yes, laden with screaming kids, but ah, the little devils are absent from the $10-for-men-women-are-free European bathing section, smack in the middle. FYI, Diamond members are free, plus a guest. A few buckets of beer and lots of sunblock later, and we were all feeling pretty hot. Samir said the $10 entrance fee was worth seeing titties. Doug had a breast rub up against him when a woman in the pool lunged for a beach ball. I briefly took off my top to channel Europeans. Liberating.<br /><br />On to Hofbrauhaus, Doug's favorite Vegas joint. The experience is surreal, group seating (us next to a couple who went machine gun target shooting), random spankings (free with the purchase of a shot of Jager), the Riccola pipe being blown, all-girl beer-chugging and who can hold a full stein the longest contests. I ordered spaeztle and the soup special of the day, "Hofbrauhaus Dumpling Soup". Turns out the "dumplings" were "liver balls" so I opted for a full stein of beer instead and tried squishing the liver balls into the "bacon grease and dumpling salad". Iden tried to determine whether or not purchasing a "Das Boot" beer glass was wise for $79.99 in the gift shop. He purchased a regular beer stein and a shirt at the urging of the German-accented cashier. Samir got spanked.<br /><br />To Mandalay, my favorite Vegas joint. We stopped at the sportsbook bar for a beer while Iden picked up some sake in a Starbucks coffee cup. We were offered free tickets to Kathy Griffin by some woman with extra tickets (you'd have to pay me to see her). Then we chanced the Arctic freeze at Minus 5, paying $25 apiece to put on a parka and sit in a bar made of ice. Note to potential visitors: the Minus 5 snowbunnies whoring at the entrance charge you to take photos with them, but the loser in a penguin costume does not.<br /><br />Before entering, the employees do their requisite speech about always using a coaster with your ice glasses lest they freeze to the ice tabletop, and they recommend you do not bring your cell phone inside because the cold may render them useless (yeah, how do people in Minnesota use cell phones, c'mon, they only want you to purchase their photos and not take crappy ones from your 0.5 megapixel cameraphone). Inside, Doug did a shot from the ice boob, chomped on an ice glass, and Iden ripped off his parka and shirt to stick himself to ice Elvis. <br /><br />Sonya excused herself to go to the bathroom and was gone forever, as usual. She was wearing what she called "F-me heels" so maybe she was a slow walker? The guys and I stood outside waiting and speculating.<br /><br />Me: Why does Sonya take so long in the bathroom? <br />Doug: Maybe she's masturbating.<br />Iden: Maybe she's p**ping.<br />Samir: Maybe she's masturbating with her p**p (gesticulates).<br /><br />Dammit I almost spit up from laughing so hard (see next paragraphs).<br /><br />I called up Seamless and they sent over the shuttle to pick us up at Mandalay. An ordinary shuttle from the outside, but a party bus inside! Note to visitors: taking the shuttle gives you waived $30 admission to the club (or asking for Jamie, or having a NV license). Found grubby hanging out with a blonde hottie, having been there several hours already. The guys got swarmed by girls while I bought a $9 beer. We ended up in a roped VIP area because Iden, lugging his treasures from Hofbrauhaus, was mistaken for a guy from "The Hills" and led to a special area.<br /><br />I'm not sure if it's weird to go to a strip club with your brother, but going to a unisex bathroom with your brother is borderline. It's kind of like watching porn with your mother. Porn with your mother f'ing a turkey. <br /><br />I started feeling nauseous so Doug and I left the gang to enjoy. In the cab ride back to Flamingo I started to feel cold. The cabbie was chatting away, apparently unaware I was now feeling <I>cold and clammy</I>. Nearing Flamingo, we passed right by it because pedestrians blocked its entrance. <I>Cold, clammy, hand on door handle</I>. I said let's just get out here but cabbie insisted on dropping us off at valet. <I>Cold, clammy, hand on door handle, taste of bile and smell of liver balls</I>. He drops us off and I stumble to the room and into the bathroom where oh shoot Hofbrauhaus revisits! Fifteen years with only two vomiting episodes, I couldn't believe I was heaving and couldn't stop. I had to simultaneously keep flushing the toilet while holding back my hair. It took me back to when I was 9, ate a hot dog and then swam in my cousin's pool. I had hair down to my ass that summer, and after the dip in the pool, I had chunks of hot dog in it too (my hair, not my ass).<br /><br />Everyone knows I'm a light beer drinker only so I suppose Hofbrauhaus' lager, not to mention the size of its steins, didn't do me any favors. I drank a bottle of water and texted grubby:<br /><br /><center><img src="http://img37.imageshack.us/img37/2782/texting.jpg"></center><br />The next morning I felt great. <br /><br />To celebrate the 4th of July, we wandered around, unsure of where to go. Wound up at Margaritaville, another of Doug's favorite places. The tabletent decided our plans: "This table has a $30 an hour minimum between 5:30pm-9:30pm". Fireworks were going to be shot off Caesar's Palace, directly across the street. F-Train joined us until he scurried off to an invite-only at Caesar's Pure. Fireworks were great, even though they didn't have my favorite smiley face one. Samir spent a good two hours talking to/picking up a woman waiting for her, uh, 20 year old daughter.<br /><br />We moved on to O'Shea's to play some cheap craps but the tables were too full. Played a little blackjack and then made our way to the bar to get some drinks and play some video poker. F-Train re-joined us and I told him to play my machine while I visited the restroom. When I returned, I had about $5 left, having put $20 in. I played the remaining credits and then drank my "free" beer. After awhile F-Train confessed, showing me a $100+ slot cash out, saying he hit quads on my machine during my brief bathroom trip! Love F-Train, despite his sheisty ways! Truth be told, after hitting the quads, grubs told him to cash it out quickly and re-deposit $10 more before I returned. What would mamagrub say about that behavior?<br /><br />Then to Harrah's to play loads of pai gow and some short lived craps where I rolled once and couldn't hit a single point. Harrah's pai gow is usually my favorite, but this time the dealers were surly and the minimum bonus bet was $5. I usually play $5 anyway, but it didn't entice F-Train to even consider betting the bonus. Didn't win a single dime as usual.<br /><br />Another pokerless trip to Vegas. Another checkmark in my vomit log. And another well spent celebration in the bestest city. I'll see Vegas again on 8/27, where I got comp'd at the noodle bar. If anyone is in town, let's play some pai gow!</font><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-2143132735294966992?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-14847623108864086242009-06-29T23:47:00.001-04:002009-06-29T23:53:06.855-04:00Procrastination is keeping me waitingI'm a big procrastinator.<br /><br />The good thing is that a lot of my life at home is the complete opposite at work. At work, I'm pretty organized, efficient, and get stuff done.<br /><br />At home, all I want to do is play online poker, eat, and sleep. For me, "online poker" is one of my primary levels under Maslow's hierarchy of physiological needs.<br /><br />Like being a functional gambling addict, I'm a functional procrastinator.<br /><br />Now I have to clean the apartment because it's being shown tomorrow, which is why I'm delaying by writing this. (I'm busted again from Full Tilt, but I've made Iron Man for the month so Maslow can suck it.)<br /><br />I have less than a month to find a place. I want something in walking distance or at least a short bus ride to work, and I want a nice kitchen and a nice bathroom, so I can maybe invite people over for a nice dinner and a nice shit.<br /><br />That would also require furniture, which I still haven't purchased after 3 years because I still feel like I could get fired at any moment, and I need to be able to pick up and move easily. I've always marveled at hobos or The Incredible Hulk, who could fit all their belongings into that little bindle as they traversed the railroad tracks to a sad piano tune. The Hulk had even less belongings, as he always busted through his clothes anytime anyone made him angry. A couple Anger Management classes would've saved a bundle on his clothing budget.<br /><br />A new apartment near work goes for roughly double what I'm paying now for my squat studio -- and the neighborhood would be considerably worse than my current one. Go figure on that one. Why can't I stay another year and put the extra money to a monthly car payment (plus furniture, even), and still have enough left over to blow on gambling?<br /><br />Beats me. Could've asked that last year as well. Procrastination again. I like not having to worry about a car, particularly when dealing with the brutal 16 months of winter every year. My car was totaled by a snowplow on the first midwest snowfall I experienced (I later blew the insurance money playing online blackjack), so I wasn't subjected to the horrors of winter driving that I left behind in D.C. when moving to Vegas.<br /><br />Car problems aren't what I'm eagerly looking forward to, either. But can I deal with trudging through the snow to wait for a late bus, getting fatter by not eating healthy (my kitchen consists of an untouched oven/stove and a refrigerator storing Ben & Jerry's), and squashing dozens of ants every day for exercise?<br /><br />We'll see. The physical act of moving my ass at all surely takes the top spot on the procrastination list.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-1484762310886408624?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-81182886994550617942009-06-08T03:24:00.002-04:002009-06-08T03:51:59.328-04:00How not to flirtIt was a beautiful summer night in Chicago, made even better by just being Friday in general to kick off the weekend, and I joined some friends for martinis and shots at my local bar.<br /><br />This is one of two local bars that has Coffee Patron, which the bartender keeps handy because it's her favorite tequila. I like this bar because they have a $3 burger with fries on Mondays, $5 martinis on Fridays, and all the waitstaff drink throughout their shift.<br /><br />And not just any drinks but Jameson.<br /><br />Our server Lacie said when she interviewed, they asked what her favorite drink was. She was hired on the spot after she said Jameson, and shots were poured to celebrate.<br /><br />Lacie doesn't have the hardcore redneck vibe going for her that the other servers do, but she seemed sweet and friendly.<br /><br />I brought up my standard prop betting on the server -- pets, birthplace, tattoos, etc.<br /><br />The rules: we each make a bet and collect the pot if we're correct. If none of us are right, the server gets the whole thing.<br /><br />"What kind of car does she drive?" I asked the group. I took out a $5. They said "no car" but didn't look willing to play. I reduced my $5 to a $1, but it wasn't enough coaxing.<br /><br />The girl in my group said that it was somewhat degrading and not at all flirting by wagering on the waitress.<br /><br />Even though I've moved from Las Vegas, it hasn't moved from me. But I have to remember that not everyone is in a gambling state of mind.<br /><br />My friend also said she thought Lacie liked me because of the mutual flirting she picked up, and I shouldn't spoil it.<br /><br />We were one Zombie, two martinis, and two Coffee Patrons into the night, and I asked Lacie what the girliest shot on the menu was.<br /><br />The fallback was going to be a Chocolate Cake with the backup of an Oatmeal Cookie.<br /><br />Lacie instantly said both with no hint of derision, particularly since she was a Jameson woman.<br /><br />We went with the Chocolate Cake (Frangelico, vanilla vodka, sugar around the rim, and a lemon), and as always, it was delicious.<br /><br />I tried to get the group to go for a Jameson so I could buy Lacie one too, but it was too soon and we had to let the liquid settle.<br /><br />When Lacie returned, as a conversation starter, I asked her if she knew the song "One Night in Bangkok."<br /><br />We had been talking about David Carradine's death in Bangkok, and the song kept whirling around my head. Particularly the song's lyric: "One night in Bangkok, and the world's your oyster."<br /><br />"And the world's your oyster?"<br /><br />My friends said that couldn't be right. I began doubting it too -- that's a pretty ridiculous lyric, even for ABBA. <I>Chess</I> is one of my favorite musicals, I've seen it three times and wore out the two albums I had, but I never cared for that song. And even so, could I be humming the wrong lyric the entire time?<br /><br />My iPhone wasn't getting reception, so I put the test to Lacie, who knew the song, but didn't recognize the lyric.<br /><br />She said she got lyrics wrong all the time, which I do too when I can remember them.<br /><br />"Sometimes," I said, "you're singing along with the lyrics and you don't even know what they mean."<br /><br />Lacie nodded excitedly and agreed.<br /><br />"Like that Kenny Rogers song," I said. "You know the one about the guy who was called a coward and told to always run away from bad situations or else end up like his father in jail?"<br /><br />I was met with a blank stare, including my friends who didn't know the song.<br /><br />And I knew where this was heading as my foot moved to my mouth.<br /><br />"So you're singing along to this nice little country song," I said, "and then you realize that the guy's girlfriend was gang raped."<br /><br />Lacie literally took a step back from the table.<br /><br />On poker sites, you can self-exclude yourself to prevent donking off your bankroll. You can self-exclude yourself from casinos too, which then even makes you guilty of trespassing.<br /><br />I need to self-exclude myself from my rapidly degenerating conversations.<br /><br />"I mean, gang rape!" I emphasized in a joking way, not helping matters by repeating it loudly.<br /><br />I tried to recover the moment, saying how it was nice Kenny Rogers and that the guy in the song finally stood up, and...<br /><br />Lacie walked away.<br /><br />My friends stared at me incredulously as I said what happened? We were having fun.<br /><br />"I don't know, could it possibly have been because you kept mentioning gang rape?"<br /><br />Lacie later appeared one more time with the check, and didn't say anything more to us.<br /><br />Afterwards, I returned home, put on <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdNcHKw1Dvs">"Coward of the County"</a> that was missing the gang rape lyrics and wondered if I imagined the whole thing (I didn't -- check the other YouTube videos).<br /><br />I then launched Full Tilt with no self-exclusion and entered a few sit-n-gos before passing out during the first orbit (while asleep, I placed 4th in both -- always the bubble).<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-8118288699455061794?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-58124564554410850292009-04-13T14:08:00.002-04:002009-04-13T14:16:47.372-04:00No time like the presentby grubette<font color=gray>It's only April and not even close to thinking about Winter Blogger events or the National Rodeo, but since I found <a href="https://reservations.mgmmirage.com/bookingengine.aspx?host=promo&pid=001&code=MKT220&kbid=275588&sub=vhs0409mgm">this great deal,</a> I thought I'd share.<br /> <br /><center><img src="http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/9062/mgmoffer.jpg"></center><br />At the MGM, this deal is $220 for a weekend December 11-12, 2009 and includes "all day passes" at the MGM Grand Buffet. This allows for a non-stop grubfest of food, at a buffet that's actually quite good. <br /><br />I've been running hot and cold at the tables lately with nothing to note.<br /><br />The other day, I was witness to a AA vs JJ $100 NL showdown pre-flop, that resulted in an Ace on the flop, then runner-runner J's for Aces full vs. quads, a $100k jackpot.<br /><br />$100k jackpots aren't that unusual, and neither is a celebratory dance on a chair, as the bad beat guy did (heck, I'd be on the table stripping while doing karaoke if I won $60,000 in a bad beat).<br /><br />What is unique is that the bad beat guy's day job is sitting on the 605 North Carson off ramp, holding a sign that says "homeless." I didn't believe this at first, until I talked to a bunch of people including the floor supervisor, who confirmed that on any given night 10-15 homeless people are wandering around, including the bad beat guy. Everyone I talked to also unanimously said, "Good for him."<br /><br />Was I the only one thinking WTF?! I don't know his situation and don't really care, but anyone who sits on the side of the road for handouts and then uses that to play $100 no limit?? Then gets luckier than most of the poor saps in the joint to win $60k!<br /><br />Good lord what has this world come to. I'm bitter for sure.<br /></font><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-5812456455441085029?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-70471906518089143712009-02-24T19:44:00.003-05:002009-02-24T19:47:54.073-05:00The lipids of grubetteby grubette<font color=gray><center><img src="http://img145.imageshack.us/img145/8490/lipds.jpg"></center><br />And here we are in 2009, ready for another round of "Check out grubette's lipids."<br /><br />At first blush, these appear to be fine numbers. However, my cholesterol overall number is nearly 30 points more than last year. I blame my rising HDL, the good cholesterol, skewing my results. By the way, HDL range is generally around 40-50, but the higher the better. Why this year are my HDL's at alien levels? Let's see what the experts list as ways to increase levels and how I contribute.<br /><br /><B>How Can We Increase Our HDL Levels?</B><br /><br /><B>Aerobic exercise.</B> I walk my dog three times a day. However, she has ballooned to 42 lbs. because she is often caught scarfing down cat food. I also bought an i-Gallop because you can "exercise while watching tv." It's gathering dust.<br /><br /><B>Lose weight.</B> Nope.<br /><br /><B>Stop smoking.</B> Nope.<br /><br /><B>Cut out the trans fatty acids.</b> I believe the government and McDonald's is doing this for me.<br /><br /><B>Alcohol.</B> Alcohol is good for HDL levels. I blame this. <br /><br /><B>Increase the monounsaturated fats in your diet.</B> I'm not too big on oils or peanut butter.<br /><br /><B>Add soluble fiber to your diet.</b> SpaghettiO's have 3g of fiber and grapes have 1g. That's about the extent of my fiber intake.<br /><br />I have no idea. Genes maybe? Poorly trained blood testers? In either case, it's a strong indication I won't drop dead of heart disease any time soon. I'll get back to you next year.<br /><br />I've been recovering from Vegas a couple weekends ago, having endured a pounding on slots but did find a shining bright spot that is pai gow.<br /><br />Played on IP $1/2 NL semi-blogger table of BWoP, F-Train and a new guy Pokergrump, who said he often sees this blog on rolls because it's so similar in name. Grump was not as his name suggests, and was quite comical as a relaxed local, even casually bringing in his double scoop waffle cone and eating it on the table, to the chagrin of every other player that can't eat, play cards and stack chips at the same time.<br /><br />$1/2 card playing is terribly boring. I drank more beers than the number of hands I played. I donkeyed out F-Train on one bored hand, causing him to huff off. That was like the only hand I won and couldn't even enjoy it. Even worse, I hadn't played poker in over a week so I was ready to play and rake in some chips. But it was not to be.<br /><br />Mamagrub also showed up to IP that night, checking into a room over looking the Carnival Court bar, rousing even at 3am. Since my mother is more of a sleeper than a partier, she wasn't too keen on watching and listening to drunkards. Fortunately, I had another room at IP for her, complete with a bar, a pull out wipe clean sofa and mirrored ceilings.<br /><br />Doug and I stayed and didn't play at the Palazzo -- there is nothing better than waking up in the morning and pushing a button to dramatically raise the roman blinds to peer out onto the Wynn, its golf course and the newly built Encore. And to realize it's daylight. And not morning, afternoon, but whatever.<br /><br />We did actually visit Encore, walking through the Wynn to witness a woman having a seizure on the floor amid scores of camera wielding onlookers. Doug walked away quickly saying he didn't want to stare, but commented that she had red panties on. Both casinos are ok, overdone a bit and lacking the feeling of luck.<br /><br />Ah Vegas. It's like a bad boyfriend you keep going back to.<br /><br />So I finally joined the facebook revolution. Perhaps that's too strong of a word --"networking application" then. It's absolutely wonderful to see all the bloggers on there with their real names. I wonder how people have time for this .. blogging, facebooking, along with work and life. I think myself adept at multitasking, working on two applications today while also shopping for a purse and thinking about my looming paper due in a few days for one of my classes. Last two classes. Can't. Wait.<br /><br />Time to go home - and walk my dog to get those HDL levels up.</font><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-7047190651808914371?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-81304039229099254752008-12-23T17:05:00.003-05:002008-12-23T17:06:56.824-05:0022 days in Vegasby grubette<font color=gray>Seeing grubby's post I counted how many days I'd been Vegas over the year. Twenty-two, not counting the seven upcoming days to round out the year. It seems like an enormous amount of time to spend someplace, but then again, I live less than an hour's plane flight away.<br /><br />I'm somewhat as comp-happy as grubs is, mostly staying in free hotel rooms but not getting much else. I love Vegas because it presents opportunities - not just to make money but also to do whatever you want to do and not be judged for it. Drinks at 10am? Smoking in the bathroom? $100 bills in Devil Poker? All-in on draws? No snickers or glares here. <br /><br />At an end of the year happy hour last week, a co-worker of mine showed me a picture of his wife and new baby on his phone. It was right after the baby was born, mom and baby were both naked, and they were both in a tub full of brown goo and blood from the natural home delivery. Not something you should do at a bar, no. Vegas yes, but a bar, no. I don't particularly enjoy seeing regular baby pictures let alone ones that include afterbirth.<br /><br />So Vegas beckons again in a few days. I had so much fun at the blogger winter tourney last week, this time it will be more sedate of a time. I crashed out early of the tourney when my pocket Aces met up with Iggy's AQ. Two Q's on the board and it was over. I did return to watch the final table and see Heather and Obie battle it out - congrats Heather! <br /><br />I did not win much of anything that weekend, especially my generally stable Pai Gow. I probably would not have been on as much of an all-things-gambling-tilt had I not pushed twice into two different pots with grubby and lost both times. I also lost the last longer bet with grubs. <br /><br />The only thing I won was at the airport before actually stepping into a casino. My dentist called me to tell me I won Zoom! teeth whitening, a thrice a year contest I've been entering for 11 years. Add that to my cat's neutering I won on a radio contest and a wine tasting party for 25 as some of the odder things I've won. One year my new year's "resolution" was to enter as many sweepstakes and contests as I could. A la <I>Real Genius,</I> you should win a certain percentage of your entries. I ended up with a crapload of junk mail.<br /><br />Staying away from HI-G since the blogger tourney, I played two qualifiers on Pokerstars' WBCOOP (Omaha and No Limit). Got about halfway with Omaha and made 132nd in No Limit out of 500+ players. At one point, I had so many chips I could've sat out and been blinded until I came in 72nd. I think I even got as far as I did because I took a 20 minute break to walk my dog. Online poker is so awkward. Quick calls or slow plays, how can you tell if it's a connection thing or bluff or what? <br /><br />A memorable part of the blogger tourney trip was Doug meandering over to the IP poker room while grubby and I played at the same table along with Rooster and donkeypuncher. He brought along an obvious hooker that he introduced around and offered to stake $100 to play. She declined and then left, but Doug didn't believe she was a working girl. At the next morning, he recalled she wanted him to buy her a water at the gift store, to which he obliged At the cashier, she threw in some condoms, saying, "We're going to need these." Who cares? It's Vegas!<br /></font><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-8130403922909925475?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-86401241319649471912008-12-21T20:26:00.002-05:002008-12-21T20:39:33.840-05:00The last Harrah'sSince last posting, I left Vegas, returned for the blogger tourney, and as of Friday am back again. Even my gambling friends said I was insane.<br /><br />I'm dumping all my comps and stiffing casinos for the last 2 weeks of the year, booking hotel rooms, freeplay, free food, and slot tournaments at 12 different hotel-casinos.<br /><br />My New Year's resolution is to rid myself of these offers, which get me to visit Las Vegas far more than I should. From Nov. 16 to Jan. 3, I'll have been in Vegas a whopping 30 days. That's too much, even for me, and even for free.<br /><br />It's sort of like when a girl came on Maury Povich with her <a href="http://www.break.com/index/maurypickle.html">fear of pickles</a> and Maury tried to dump pickles on her to cure her phobia.<br /><br />This trip is my pickles.<br /><br />First on the target list is what's become my favorite hotel -- The Venetian/Palazzo. At The Venetian over the blogger tourney, I was told I was overcomped for my 3 nights, $100 freeplay, and $50 food. Overcomped means I won't get anything more above those offers, and I'm less likely to get the same offer in the future.<br /><br />But here's what overcomped also means: last weekend at The Venetian, I lost $2130 (plus $135 if you count the blogger tourney that I didn't cash in) over 6 hours of play. That's just at Venetian, excluding losses elsewhere.<br /><br />Like the majority of casinos, Venetian doesn't take into account actual losses, they calculate Average Daily Theoretical. This was made popular by Harrah's, which even holds a patent on how to calculate player comps (Harrah's lost the battle of protecting their tiered system, which is why many casinos now offer Total Rewards-like tiers).<br /><br />Whether you win or lose, you receive comps based on average bet and time played. Longer is always better. My average bet last weekend was $1.71 per pull. At about 12 spins per minute, that's 720 spins per hour, or $1231.20 of coin-in per hour.<br /><br />For 6 hours, that's $7387.20 of playthrough.<br /><br />Figuring a 10 percent hold on penny slots (from the back pages of <I>Slots Today</I>), I'm expected to lose $738.72. What I lost is more indicative of a 29 percent hold, but way too small a sample. And besides, Nevada's maximum hold percentage on a slot machine is 25 percent. I was just unlucky.<br /><br />That I lost three times that amount doesn't come into play when calculating comps. There used to be a time when you could scrounge some sympathy out of a pitboss or host for a food comp, but as things become more and more computerized (or Harrah's-ized), even they have lost authority.<br /><br />If I were to win big, however, all bets are off and I would see even better offers to lure me back and return some of my winnings.<br /><br />It doesn't make much sense to me that casinos make this the exception, yet they don't see the player who loses $2000 per trip every trip, even if they don't make their ADT.<br /><br />Why not continue to comp that player?<br /><br />Last weekend, my host at Venetian said I needed another 6 hours of play at my average bet before I could start asking for any additional comps, which means Venetian wants players to play enough to an average loss of $500 per day for a free room ($1477.44 / 3 days).<br /><br />This is roughly equivalent to a $1 average bet for 8 hours per day of play (about $5760 coin-in/day) in order to get a free room, confirmed by another host. <br /><br />This trip, I'm again overcomped.<br /><br />My playthrough was $17,232 at a higher $1.89 average bet over 14 hours (I won't say how much I lost, but you can probably figure it out). <br /><br />But it also includes entry into a $50,000 slot tournament and $50,000 sweepstakes tournament, the EV of which is about $333 for both.<br /><br />My intention was to stiff the casinos, but the sweepstakes tourney was enough to get me to play -- 1 entry for every 100 points.<br /><br />We'll see if it pays off. With 172 sweepstakes entries, I had better win something. I bombed in the slot tournament with a big fat zero, so all my eggs are in the sweepstakes.<br /><br />The person at the player's club said I had the most amount of entries she'd seen so far, with the next highest being 112.<br /><br />With 300 players and cash awards to 100th place, I figure I have a better than 1 in 3 shot at hitting something. 1st place is $20,000, 2nd is $10,000 and 3rd is $5000. 51st through 100th get $50 in slot credits.<br /><br />I'm writing this with an hour to go before the awards reception.<br /><br />If I get nothing, the Venetian/Palazzo will soon see what hath the wrath of my bad luck.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-8640124131964947191?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109421.post-16876738192189114622008-11-26T17:36:00.003-05:002008-11-26T17:43:42.930-05:00A Thanksgiving storyAfter all the news coverage about the busiest travel season in Vegas, there were no lines at all -- rental car shuttle, baggage check-in, security, tram... and now I'm at the gate with 3 hours to kill.<br /><br />Luckily, McCarran has free WiFi, and I multi-tabled seven tournaments and netted $54.<br /><br />One was a 3-table tourney and when 5-handed I cursed a little loudly when my A10 on the button ran into AA in the big blind. And it figures that we were both the big chipstacks. He went on to win, and I went on to close Full Tilt. <br /><br />Very glad to be leaving. Ten days in Vegas is way too long. I had my biggest slot wins (relative to bet size) this trip, but on the other hand, I gave it all back and lost more than I want to admit.<br /><br />I overstuffed myself on more than one occasion, which caused an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom.<br /><br />Besides buffets and starchy foods, the food theme this trip was Asian noodle soup.<br /><br />Palazzo has Zine, which is mediocre made worse with too many scallions. Upstairs in the Palazzo shops is Mainland, which opened earlier this year but was closed while I was there.<br /><br />Harrah's has Ming's Table, which is overpriced but excellent and has a $14.95 spring roll/soup/rice/entree combo (also a $19.95 all-you-can-eat soup and sushi deal, but from selected sushi). I was staying in the Mardi Gras tower and Ming's is right next to it, plus I can use my comps there.<br /><br />But my favorite noodle place is Noodle Asia at The Venetian, which has the added benefit of being open till 3 a.m. Every trip I work my way through the menu and have yet to find anything I don't like. It's modeled on the late night Hong Kong noodle shops with fast service and big crowds, but you can always cut through and sit at the bar.<br /><br />The morning after a particularly big late-night soupy dinner, I stepped out of the shower, farted, then went to the bathroom.<br /><br />At The Venetian, the bathroom is in a closed area, and when I came out, there was something brown on the white shag rug. It looked like a little dog had visited and left a present.<br /><br />I hadn't farted, I'd sharted. And there was the evidence on the rug.<br /><br />I pulled out a bunch of tissues and tried wiping it off but only made it worse. Dab it, don't wipe it, was the mantra I'd forgotten when my dog made similar messes on the rug.<br /><br />I used all the tissues and shifted to toilet paper, dabbing disintegrating strips of toilet paper soaked with soapy water in an effort to hide my soupy shame.<br /><br />Finally I was left with specks of toilet paper and a faded dried brown stain that I could claim was like that when I got there. <br /><br />The Do Not Disturb sign stayed on the door the whole trip until I left, where I piled the dirty towels on top of the soiled rug, hoping they would just collect everything together and put it in the laundry.<br /><br />I left a decent tip.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6109421-1687673819218911462?l=pokergrub.com' alt='' /></div>grubbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06451725671853198835noreply@blogger.com