Writings from Truckin'


Poker Blogs

Saturday, July 05, 2008

A stripper stole my car keys

Blogging from iPhone.

Up for >24 hours in Vegas, as per usual.

Valiant battle with Life of Luxury Riches of Rome slot machine. $1897 playthrough, max $2.40 a spin = 790.42 spins before hitting Life of Luxury bonus. Only to not get any progressives. Really? Guy watching commiserated with me, saying all machines are tight now. Being the only one on bank, was chasing my own tiny progressive contribution. Not a good idea. Not a good idea to play slots anyway, but promotion has free dinner buffet for 300 points, and points don't come off. 'Course, no excuse having 1897 points since only 300 count. Down $800 before triggering again and retrigger twice for 30 spins. So much potential for top 3 progressives but kept getting bottom. That, two regular bonuses, and a 5-of-a-kind top award got back to even. Winner this round: grubby of Rome.

Al, iggy, g-money, miamidon at hooker bar (aka Shutters bar at Rio). Approached two hookers who turned out not to be when Main Event poker players they were waiting for showed up. I still claim they were, but irrefutable proof indicated otherwise. Played video poker next to Svetlana and chatted. I mean, come on. A girl named Svetlana playing Double Double Bonus by herself and being open to talking with a degenerate slot player? Winner this round: faux hookers.

Take group to Penthouse strip club. Not all that. Surprisingly, Al and Miamidon's first strip club visit in Vegas. Strippers hanging out at bar. Girl named Tricia (not Patricia because parents didn't want her nicknamed Fatty Patty if she became fat) introduces herself to me, says lazy strippers are her friends, would I be amenable to buying them a drink and dance? It's a strip club, honey, not junior prom. We guys shouldn't have to work. I have 0 dances. Winner this round: lazy strippers.

Head to Cheetah's. Dump $540 on dances, including two in VIP. Money seemed a bonus because originally down in Riches of Rome slot. Leaving backroom, rental car keys are missing. Search party looks, including manager, dj, bartender, server, bouncer. Videotape shows me getting dance but can't see table clear enough. Flashlights shine like searching for Jimmy Hoffa. No avail. Call rental company, call locksmith. 90 minutes later have new set of keys made from keycode for $100 + 20 tip. Shuddering what Dollar will charge. One of our group pissed off stripper for falling asleep (5 a.m.). Could be her. Winner this round: vengeful stripper.